Murphy’s Technology Laws!
I found on an old hard drive circa 2011 🙂

1. You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
2. Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
3. Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
4. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation.
5. An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing.
6. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he’ll have to touch to be sure.
7. All great discoveries are made by mistake.
8. Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
9. All’s well that ends… period.
10. A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
11. The first myth of management is that it exists.
12. A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.
13. New systems generate new problems.
14. To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
15. We don’t know one-millionth of one percent about anything.
16. Any given program, when running, is obsolete.
17. A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.

Here a bonus comic, equally as cynical 😀

If anyone knows the original source, please comment below so I can include proper attribution.